My experiments with Life- Gandhian Living

We have all heard/read about the most popular Gandhian principle- See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil.

I tried to find out how relevant this principle is, 60 years after Gandhi's time. Let's see.

See no evil- Unfortunately, we live in a society where evil runs the show. No sooner than you open the newspaper/news web sites, evil starts pouring into your life. Terrorists scheming to blow up planes, Strong nations bombing weaker ones to assert themselves as superpowers. You reach your workplace and you see people trying to step over one another to get to the top, by fair means or foul. You get the picture.

Simply closing your eyes or in the metaphorical sense, ignoring or shutting the evil out won't help. That would be 'escapist' thinking. It will let you sleep better, but it won't change the reality of the world we live in.

So, is this principle no longer valid? - Gandhi was way ahead of his times, his foresight is unparalleled, so we know that's not true.

Was Gandhi an escapist? No, we know better than that.

Or did he mean we must try to eliminate all evil so that we don't have to see it? Yes, he did indeed.

Did he mean we see no evil in anybody, see only good? There is your answer.

Hear no evil-We have already established, the escape route-shutting evil out is not Gandhi. So, what do we do?

Hearing doesn't just apply to others' voices, it could also apply to the ones inside you.

I say, we use our ears as filters. Absorb the good, throw out the bad, drowning out the evil voices in our heads, only listening to the good ones. We know too well, which ones are which.

Doesn't that sound good? There's Gandhi for you- making ever green rules for a better world.

Speak no evil- This one seems the most doable of the three but also the most difficult. We only have to control our own tongue. If only, that was easy. Try going without cribbing, gossiping, finding faults for one day, you will know.

Its very difficult not to have negative thoughts at all. But, we can certainly train ourselves not to say them out loud.

You just have to watch what you say for a few days, if you don't say the negative things out loud, pretty soon, you will stop thinking them.

Easier said than done. But definitely worth trying. Let's try a little experiment with life. Let's try and live by these principles, one day at a time.

You're probably an Indian living abroad if

* Your home reeks of incense , curry leaves or masala.

* You don't go to a doctor unless it's an absolute emergency.

* You keep the smoke alarm in your house covered.

* You call all your desi friends from the mall/store if you find a good deal.

* You own a Toyota or a Honda.

* You take off your shoes before entering your house and expect others to do the same.

* You vacuum/sweep/mop everyday.

* Your favorite fast food restaurant is 'Taco Bell'.

* You use hair oil instead of styling products.

* You have the idol of an Indian god in your car.

* You stare at other Indians when you spot them at a store/mall/restaurant but don't smile or say "hello".

* You have to spell your name to everyone.

* You keep a stock of Indian medicines in your house.

* You have to visit New York City, Niagara Falls and Las Vegas during your first year in US.

* You are only friends with desi neighbors.

* You either don't have a middle name or its a really long one.

* You return at least two items every month.

* You save half of what you earn.

* You don't know any American outside of work.

* You convert the price of everything you buy into rupees in your head.

* You buy cameras, laptops and ipods for your folks back home.

* Your conversations with Americans revolve around comparison of Indian and American culture/food/traditions.

* You compare prices before you buy a $1 item.

* You have to say "no beef" to every waiter/waitress repeatedly.

* You don't take long vacations because you have to save your days off to take 4-week vacations to India.

* You have to shop for gifts for all your uncles, aunties and countless cousins back home before returning to India.

* You know all the immigration lawyers in your area.

* You clicked pictures of your first snow, first car and first house and sent them to everyone you know.

* You wait till Black friday to make all your major purchases.

* You go to the mall at midnight on Black Friday.

* You have frozen mixed vegetables sitting in your freezer at all times.

* You are very reluctant to buy second hand stuff.

* You go to the temple to make friends/for business networking.

* You always try free dessert samples at the mall no matter how full you are.

My 'Feel Good' strategies

1. Get dressed to the nines: All of us when feeling low, tend to do the exact opposite, dress lousily, often leave home in Pajamas. whenever I feel down in the dumps, I get dressed and wear something I think I look my best in. When you look good (or when you think you look good), you feel good.

2. Dump junk,Eat healthy: There is scientific evidence to prove that healthy foods like fruit, raw leafy vegetables can actually lift you spirits. But, what do we do when we need to comfort ourselves-go for a bag of chips. I do, too. Will remember to reach for a banana instead.

3. Take a long hot shower: Hot showers help circulation and my mood too. It is a great way to clear your head when in doubt.Always works like a charm.

4. Don't indulge in self-pity: We try finding comfort within ourselves when we don't find it from others.But self-pity does more harm than good. If you start thinking about the ways you have been wronged or hurt, your mind will quickly furnish a lifetime of moments of anguish.You don't want to go to that dark place. So when that tinge of self pity gets too inviting, I think of the my biggest accomplishments till date. Self-pity goes out the window..

5. Take a walk: when the going gets tough, the tough get walking.I get outdoors and just enjoy the simple pleasures of life, like watching a sunset, listening to birds and rustling of leaves in the wind. Good-old people watching helps too.

6. Talk to a long lost friend:We all have friends, with who, we kind of lost touch, but would love to reconnect if had the time. Go ahead, make that call. Or simply go online and chat with anybody who will chat with you.

7. Act like you feel on top of the world: Sing, dance, shout from the rooftops if you must, but whatever you do, don't look like the way you feel. Feelings stem from the mind and if you can control your mind and fool it into believing "all is well", your feelings will change. Its true that you act the way you feel, but the converse (you feel the way you act) holds true as well.

Life lessons my family taught me

1. Chase excellence, success will follow- I was surprised when I heard a similar dialog in the movie 3 idiots, I kept thinking, ' this writers' parents think like mine'.

2. Education is your true wealth-Something that can never be over emphasized.

3. The best revenge for cruelty,-kindness- When I was little, if some kid wouldnt treat me well or hurt me, my parents would not let me get back by treating him the same way, rather I was encouraged to be extra kind to him so he would realize his mistake and become my friend. This is a golden rule for our 'eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth' society. And I have observed that if I refrain from paying someone back in the same coin, more often than not, people come back and apologize for their behavior, even become great friends.

4. You dont have to visit a country to learn about it when you can read about it- I was a very curious kid, used to ask my learned grandfather hundreds of questions, he would almost always point me to a book on that subject. When I bothered my mom too much, she would ask me to go read a book. During long train journeys, whenever my brother and I would have nothing better to do than eat and sleep, my parents would give us a book each and would pit us against each other in a reading competition. Those little reinforcements have made reading not only a rewarding way to get through idle hours, but a passion for me. It would not be an exaggeration to say that this passion has made me what I am today. I cant thank my parents and grandparents enough for it.

5.The tree that bears the most fruit hangs the lowest- Humility is probably the most stressed virtue in my household. There are some pretty well accomplished people in my family but they manage to keep their feet on the ground. This has always helped me put things in perspective whenever I think I have accomplished something big.

6. Things have a way of working out in the end- My dad always says, "You are a good kid, why wouldn't things work out for you?" That always brings a smile to my face, no matter how big the trouble, and even though I am not that good a kid :)

7. Don't fret the small stuff. Think-'Big picture'. All of us have a tendency to over-think little things. My family has taught me to rise above and beyond the petty, and think big. 'Is it really going to matter in the long run?' is an oft repeated question at my place.

Things people do

We all have the same kind of experiences with other people.We make the same observations about other people but keep them to ourselves thinking we are the only ones who notice. We like to believe each one of us is different but, we are alike in more ways than we know.

1. When people hear about someone praising them behind their back, that pleases them more than a lifetime of compliments delivered to their face.

2. People take pride in rising above differences like colour, ethnicity yet tend to mingle with their own kind.

3. People are ALWAYS judgemental.

4. People are too occupied, thinking what others think of them, to think about others.